Let's Travel To - PORTUGAL

"Grab a friend and travel someplace new"

Travelling is one of my favourite things to do. Whenever I get the opportunity to travel, I take it with no hesitation. In March, one of my best friends, Nia and I spent a few days of our spring break vacation in Portugal, Albufeira. We both enjoy travelling therefore a trip together was a must. We're currently studying in the United Kingdom and a change in climate for a few days was desired.

Portugal is probably one of the most beautiful places I've been to. The people were all friendly and helpful; the various views were so breath-taking and I won't get started on the food! A friend of mine had told me to try the seafood paella dish and I did, twice! 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

-xox

Michel'Lee Williams

Perks of being Single

Welcome back readers. Today's blog post was really fun to write, so let's get into it. 

If you know me, you'll know that I'm single at least 75% of the time so trust me when I say I know the struggles that come with being single. However, being single doesn't have to be a sad, depressing thing, there are some amazing perks that come with it. 

1) Never having to say who you're with. In other words, you don't have to answer to anyone. You can go out with girls, and guy friends, and not have to report to anyone. I know some relationships are all about trust, but not every guy is comfortable with their girl around men if they aren't there also. When you're single you get to go out, kick it with whoever you want and you don't have to answer to anyone.

2) You can flirt and not feel guilty! Even if you're just gushing over some random guy on the street, you can do so freely without guilt. Let's also talk about guys who are bold enough to approach you, you don't have to feel bad about innocent conversations that your man may not see as "innocent". Being single gives you the freedom to flirt or get hit on by guys without feeling bad about it. 

3) You get to explore your options freely. Go on dates, have casuals conversations and discover what you want or don't want in a guy. Thanks to some of the guys I dated, I know what I'm looking for in a guy and what I should avoid. Keep this as casual and innocent as possible, (we're trying to enjoy being single, not find ourselves in a relationship). 

4) Making decisions is made much simpler. I remember not talking to an ex for a few hours simply because he didn't want to go where I wanted to eat and vice versa. To be fair, I can be very indecisive, so I'll take the fault for that; but being single makes decisions such as where to eat much easier. You don't have to be cautious or think about your significant other's wishes or views. Yes, being single allows you to be totally selfish without feeling terrible about it. 

5) Time to focus on you! There's nothing better than a glow up after a breakup. Being single gives you time to work on you and focus on yourself. There's so many pros to taking time out for yourself, including making yourself better emotionally and physically. You get a chance to discover yourself; what you should improve or what you should work on getting rid of. 

Enjoy your singleness until you find someone worth giving it up for. 

-Chat with me below- :) 

-xox

Michel'Lee Williams 

Loving yourself.

"Love yourself girl or nobody will"

-J. Cole

Self-love.

There's really nothing like it. To be able to love yourself unconditionally; whilst accepting the flaws that blatantly show themselves to not only you but also to others. There's nothing like waking up in the morning and knowing that if there's anyone in this world that loves you, it's you.

I wish I could believe that everyone loves themselves to that extent, I would only be lying to myself if I said that was what I thought. There are countless people that live life everyday praying they could live the life of someone else,  or look the way someone else does. 

Self-love is not a trait that everyone will possess automatically. Some were raised with that mentality to love yourself regardless of what others think,  some gained that trait through life experiences while others are still learning how to get to that point of self love.

Which ever applies to you, here are 4 ways on how I gained self-love over the years:

1) Acknowledging my flaws and accepting them - I am my biggest critic. I would examine my hair, my outfit and my makeup; making sure I look exactly the way I want to look. Usually, if not always, I would find a flaw...then I would accept it. My hair may not be to my satisfaction but I would confidently wear it regardless. I don't have perfect skin; thanks to acne and childhood scars, but I learnt to love every mark and wear it proudly. Accepting your flaws gives you that confidence-booster you need to walk with your head up and not care about what others think.

2) Positive thoughts - Negative thoughts about yourself will only lower your self-esteem. It's very important to highlight the good about yourself. Having a positive attitude increases the way you see and think about yourself. Negativity only brings sadness and self hate.

3) Positive surroundings- This point is very important to anyone that is struggling with genuinely loving themselves. Having a great support system is always a must in any struggle. Don't associate yourself with people who will constantly point out your flaws and make fun of them. Surround yourself with people who will bring out the best in you; be with people who will treat you the way you ought to be treated.

4) Constant reminders- Post-its. Go 'Mary-Jane" and post positive quotes on items you have no choice but to notice. Post uplifting reminders on mirrors, everyday bags or backpacks, next to toothbrushes or hair products. Do what you have to do to remind yourself that you are awesome, beautiful and worth it.

-xox
Michel'Lee Williams

It's your beauty. Not theirs.

"Your beauty does not need any validation"

We live in a world where beauty needs confirmation from others; which is the biggest misconception of being beautiful. I've seen a lot of definitions of beauty but the most realistic definition is that from the Urban Dictionary:

"Beauty; a thing seldom seen. It is held by all within the soul it lies,  waiting to come out to the surface...beauty is suppressed by the evils of the world. Only love can bring beauty out."

Beauty is suppressed by the evil of the world. These are probably the truest words I have read all day. Beauty is not hidden behind the skin: it is hidden behind the negative words of others; and the looks of disapproval in the eyes of strangers.

Also in the Urban Dictionary, beautiful is defined as "a woman (person) who has a distinctive personality,  one who can laugh at anything,  including themselves,  who is especially kind and caring to others."

True beauty is a light within that shines. A beautiful face with an ugly personality is overall an unattractive person. It's like a car with no gas; it just doesn't work. Your beauty is defined by who you are; not how you look. How big is your heart?  How often do you care? 

Often times we wait on others approval to validate our beauty; that's not needed. It's your beauty. You do not need anyone to tell you how to be beautiful or when to be beautiful.

Do not allow society and it's sick way of thinking to create you into something that you're not.Beauty is who you are;  not what society makes you out to be.  You are beautiful,  it is society that is ugly.

Tell me your views on beauty. Talk back with me. :) 

-xox
Michel'Lee R. Williams

Sex and other things

"We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love."

-Tom Robbins

Growing up as a young teen, the topic "sex" was something my Pastor was always very verbal and straightforward about.  She was always very open and candid with that aspect of our lives because our youth group consisted of mainly females. 

She made it her duty to inform us on the repercussion of sex and exactly what we would be getting into when we decide to have sex. She was always that voice of reason. Especially when it came to our relationships. She was never forceful, it was always her opinion, we were the eventual decision makers.

One thing I kept with me from those multiple youth sessions and the numerous sex talks was that, "sex should not be taken lightly". Sex was much more than a physical encounter.

I've heard people say many times that sex is an emotional and spiritual encounter. When two people have sex, you never leave the same. Both partners always leave with a portion of each other; you always leave with a part of yourself missing and apart of your partner gained.

As a young woman,  I don't think of sex as just something you do in your spare time, or something you must do when in a relationship. I personally take the act of having sex very seriously. Whenever I do decide to share my body with another person it will definitely not be based on the popularity of young women my age who are having sex, or the need to do so just to express the level of my love.

Keep in mind that sex is not just between two sexual organs, it's between two souls, two bodies and two hearts.

You're sharing not only your body but also your soul. 

What are your views on sex? Comment below. Chat back with me.

-xox

Michel'Lee R. Williams

2014 Lessons & 2015 Expectations

"Sorry for the late post, this was to be a New Year Eves/Old Year Night post, I away during that period with limited Internet access."

2014 was definitely the year of lessons. I learnt so much about myself in 2014, I went in-depth with what I wanted in life and learnt how to cope with unexpected situations.

I'm a really structured person, but 2014 taught me how to go with the flow and stop being such a constant planner. Many things went south for me in 2014; some were expected, most were unexpected.

Lessons from 2014

• Be structured but don't be an obsessive planner. I had a vision for my life in 2014. I was obsessed with making sure everything goes as planned. 2014 forced me to just let go and be one with the wind; to just go with the flow and live life as it comes.

• Anxiety; control it. My anxiety was so strong in 2014. I'm a calm person on the outside but on the inside there's a worldwide of emotions. In 2014 I found ways to control my nerves. I learnt to not only keep calm on the outside but also on the inside.

• Let Go & Let God. My faith was tested so much this year! My faith plays a huge part of my life and I'm such a planner, I didn't allow God to take the forefront. 2014 taught me to just gave in and let it go. I decided to let God have control. 

• Be expressive.I love keeping things in, it's a defence mechanism for protecting my feelings, but in 2014 I realised its better if you just say how you feel. Especially if it's something or to someone that's of great importance to you.

• Never give up. This was the greatest lesson taught to me in 2014. Upon completing Community College everything seemed to have taken a downward slope in every aspect of my life. There were so many opportunities for me to give up, I didn't.  I knew that to enjoy the highs in life, you must endure the lows.

2015 please be good to me.

2015 Resolutions

• Be happy. I want happiness in every area of life,  not just in some aspects. I want constant joy and fulfilment; even during tough times.

• Do not settle. I refuse to just settle for what life thinks is good enough for me. I want to get more out of life.

• Let God have his way. Simple as that; I want to give God full control in everything concerning me.

That's all guys. What I learnt in 2014 and my expectations for 2015.
If you can  relate, or have learnt anything in 2014 or have any 2015 expectations, comment below.

- xox
Michel'Lee R. Williams

A beautiful black woman

I am a beautiful black woman
Years ago, those words were not very popular to say.
At least not in that order,
Maybe some still find it hard to say
Like they have an incurable "I don't see myself beautiful" disorder.

Because of the stigma that society has labeled us black women with.
According to fools, the fields and backstage is where we belong,
Singing songs of freedom...like the "Wade in the water" song.
How about in college, with degrees.
On runways, making front covers.

To society the black nation will always be seen as social hazards.
It's time for a game changer,
Remove the rear view mirrors and stop looking backwards.

A black, educated and beautiful woman I will always be.
I will wear my puff up high just like my standards.
And my curls whether long or short, will fall in place,  exactly where they should.

My courage, like my skin,  is ever strong.
In the mirror all I see is a beautiful black woman.
Talented, educated and again I say, ever strong!

-xox
By Michel'Lee R. Williams

My faith || Why Jesus?

Why I chose Jesus

I really want to share a little bit about something that means everything to me.
Some might not want to read this while others may find it interesting and inspiring. I respect either one.

My faith is something that I value most.I gave my life to Christ at a relatively young age and ever since, it has been an amazing roller coaster. Yes, sometimes I wanted to give up. Yes, there were times I just wanted to say "what's the use? ", but Jesus kept me sane and safe through so many situations.

Why Jesus?
I chose Jesus because he was always there. In my darkest, most heart breaking moments,God was there. I felt comfort in confiding in him. I never felt judged or looked down upon. Jesus accepted me with all my flaws.
Some might ask, well how do I it was Jesus? Why do I believe in him?

Many say he doesn't exist, but how do you know if something or someone exists if you haven't tried to look for them? It's like a hairstylist for example, you know they exist because you went looking for them and looked up what they can offer you. I tried God and found out he is the best person for me when I need him most.

I'm by no means on a mission to force anyone to think the way I do, or have the same beliefs I do; but rather try to be an example or even inspire someone to try Jesus.

"Stand for something or fall for anything."  

I choose to stand for Jesus.

Bible Verse

Matthew 16:26

" For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

-xox

Michel'Lee R. Williams

Sport Fishing vs Keeper.

Dating

I'm pretty sure many of us question the intentions of every person that we find ourselves dating.

We want to know if he or she is in it for the long-run or just for the excitement that happens early in the relationship.

I recently read a book by Steve Harvey called "Act Like A Lady,Think Like A Man" , and thought, "wow!" as I read Chapter 6: Sports fish vs. Keepers.

Personally, whenever I see a man I'm either thinking "good time" or "lifetime".  Yes, you are labeled #keeper or #bleh usually by the first few conversations or dates.

A "good time" person is just for the time being. I look at his body,  his job/academic qualifications and his personality; and I would think to myself, "he's good....for the time being".

A "lifetime" person ,on the other hand, is all the above PLUS I start to think about having a future with that man and I would ask myself a few key questions. Will he make a good husband or father?  What are his short-term and long-term plans?  Is he family and goal oriented? All these questions are going through my mind because right now I'm thinking about having a future with this man and I'm thinking a little bit deeper and beyond the surface.

Some will deny it, but there are some women, like the huge population of men, that is simply in a relationship to have a good time. They get the sex, the money and maybe even the "title" until they're tired and are ready for a new flame!

That is what Steve Harvey referred to as Sports fishing. Like a fisherman, if the person that caught you thinks you are not good enough,  you'll be thrown right back into the sea. Whereas if you're a keeper, that fisherman will take you home, clean you up, make you better and keep you.

To be honest, you never really know if your significant other is sports- fishing or keeping.

The idea of playing with someone's feelings has evolved into something that is becoming a norm to society and it's becoming difficult to differentiate a good time person vs a lifetime person.

If you want a lifetime make sure to let that be known at an early stage of the relationship. Ensure your significant other is on the same page as you are.

-xox
Michel'Lee R. Williams