Loving yourself.

"Love yourself girl or nobody will"

-J. Cole

Self-love.

There's really nothing like it. To be able to love yourself unconditionally; whilst accepting the flaws that blatantly show themselves to not only you but also to others. There's nothing like waking up in the morning and knowing that if there's anyone in this world that loves you, it's you.

I wish I could believe that everyone loves themselves to that extent, I would only be lying to myself if I said that was what I thought. There are countless people that live life everyday praying they could live the life of someone else,  or look the way someone else does. 

Self-love is not a trait that everyone will possess automatically. Some were raised with that mentality to love yourself regardless of what others think,  some gained that trait through life experiences while others are still learning how to get to that point of self love.

Which ever applies to you, here are 4 ways on how I gained self-love over the years:

1) Acknowledging my flaws and accepting them - I am my biggest critic. I would examine my hair, my outfit and my makeup; making sure I look exactly the way I want to look. Usually, if not always, I would find a flaw...then I would accept it. My hair may not be to my satisfaction but I would confidently wear it regardless. I don't have perfect skin; thanks to acne and childhood scars, but I learnt to love every mark and wear it proudly. Accepting your flaws gives you that confidence-booster you need to walk with your head up and not care about what others think.

2) Positive thoughts - Negative thoughts about yourself will only lower your self-esteem. It's very important to highlight the good about yourself. Having a positive attitude increases the way you see and think about yourself. Negativity only brings sadness and self hate.

3) Positive surroundings- This point is very important to anyone that is struggling with genuinely loving themselves. Having a great support system is always a must in any struggle. Don't associate yourself with people who will constantly point out your flaws and make fun of them. Surround yourself with people who will bring out the best in you; be with people who will treat you the way you ought to be treated.

4) Constant reminders- Post-its. Go 'Mary-Jane" and post positive quotes on items you have no choice but to notice. Post uplifting reminders on mirrors, everyday bags or backpacks, next to toothbrushes or hair products. Do what you have to do to remind yourself that you are awesome, beautiful and worth it.

-xox
Michel'Lee Williams